The End

Last weekend I finished my last exam, packed up my stuff and left London.

Six years of medical school were over all too quickly. I remember arriving in October 2007 and promptly falling asleep in lectures so clearly as if it wasn't very long ago. But now there are no more lectures to sleep in. A lot has happened in the last six years but I don't feel like I have changed very much. Some people might argue that I have.

Anyway, as this season of life is coming to an end I have decided to end this blog.

Thank you all for reading. It has been fun.

So much work, so little time

As of today I have 8 weeks left until exams. I can't lie and say that I'm cool calm and totally prepared. I'm never cool calm and totally prepared for any exam. But there's something about this last year that exposes the holes in knowledge and understanding that I was able to get away with previously. All those lectures I slept through - I'm paying for them now. Never mind, I'll just have to work really hard for the next few weeks. Hopefully, it'll all be alright on the night.

Old habits die hard

This week I'm back in lectures doing what I do best..sleeping.
On Thursday I was so tired I went home to sleep. (I'm still sick so it's ok).


Some things may never change.

2013 will be a year of ...

Change

I'm in my final year of university. In August I'll be working as a doctor, being responsible for people's health and stuff. Your life will be my hands. Be afraid. Mwahahahahahahahaha! (Actually that's a total lie - I'll be at the bottom of the food chain, paper pushing for years to come). And because I am a glutton for major life change, in between now and then I'm also getting married.

I guess there will be no more sleeping in lectures, I'll have to grow up.

I 'used' to look at major life events like this with a certain amount of fear - to be honest I still do.
I'm trying to make a conscious effort to change that attitude. I'm trying to see this as something exciting on the horizon, something to look forward to but some old thinking habits die hard.

Blah blah blah

Everything in life seems so blah right now. Nothing's happening. Nothing is interesting. Nothing excites me anymore. I wake up, I do nothing I go back to sleep. I have little motivation. Not even for work. Not even to talk to people.

I wrote before about needing to be brave to step out and change things. I realise now that building a life takes effort not courage. One step isn't enough, I have to carry on walking.

I'm stuck in a rut and I'm far from the place I want to be, in terms of my relationships with people, my relationship with God, my work-life balance, my wardrobe ... this list could go on and on. However a new year affords the promise that the slate is wiped clean that you can be better than you were before. This will require commitment not complaining, something that changing a calendar doesn't give you.

Last year I promised to be more open, I really wasn't. I never really have been. But I've had enough of this rut now. This will be my last whiny-complainy-woe is me-my life is rubbish post.
My blog may end here. I hope it doesn't.