Old habits die hard

This week I'm back in lectures doing what I do best..sleeping.
On Thursday I was so tired I went home to sleep. (I'm still sick so it's ok).


Some things may never change.

2013 will be a year of ...

Change

I'm in my final year of university. In August I'll be working as a doctor, being responsible for people's health and stuff. Your life will be my hands. Be afraid. Mwahahahahahahahaha! (Actually that's a total lie - I'll be at the bottom of the food chain, paper pushing for years to come). And because I am a glutton for major life change, in between now and then I'm also getting married.

I guess there will be no more sleeping in lectures, I'll have to grow up.

I 'used' to look at major life events like this with a certain amount of fear - to be honest I still do.
I'm trying to make a conscious effort to change that attitude. I'm trying to see this as something exciting on the horizon, something to look forward to but some old thinking habits die hard.

Blah blah blah

Everything in life seems so blah right now. Nothing's happening. Nothing is interesting. Nothing excites me anymore. I wake up, I do nothing I go back to sleep. I have little motivation. Not even for work. Not even to talk to people.

I wrote before about needing to be brave to step out and change things. I realise now that building a life takes effort not courage. One step isn't enough, I have to carry on walking.

I'm stuck in a rut and I'm far from the place I want to be, in terms of my relationships with people, my relationship with God, my work-life balance, my wardrobe ... this list could go on and on. However a new year affords the promise that the slate is wiped clean that you can be better than you were before. This will require commitment not complaining, something that changing a calendar doesn't give you.

Last year I promised to be more open, I really wasn't. I never really have been. But I've had enough of this rut now. This will be my last whiny-complainy-woe is me-my life is rubbish post.
My blog may end here. I hope it doesn't.

Taking things for granted

I suppose at this time of year I'm bound to become reflective. I think back on the year gone by, look forward to the year ahead and get planning. There are some things I assume are taken care of or are guaranteed - unfortunately, that isn't always the case.

For the last few weeks things haven't been quite right with me.  Early in December I developed a cough. Initially I thought it was no big deal, everyone is ill at this time of year. I thought I would cough and sneeze for a couple of days, sleep a lot and then be right as rain. Uni would be rubbish but then I'd bounce back and get back to hardcore revision for finals. However, a week later after downing a bottle of cough mixture, drinking my body weight in lemon and ginger tea and sleeping for 14 hours a night every night I wasn't any better.

A Londoner in the North - Day 1

So after a long break from writing I've travelled to 'the North' to do a 2 week stint in GP land and have found some fodder for this here blog. Now I'm a city kid, lived in London all my life and coming this far away from civilisation home is a somewhat daunting process. I've long had a wish to live outside of London in a land where there are green things growing from the ground outside but after today I'm not sure how I'd fare...